Rock

After weeks of speculation, Jessica Simpson has announced she is pregnant. It’ll be the first child for the singer/actress/designer/former reality star and her fiancé, former pro football player Eric Johnson. In lieu of sending them a gift to help them decorate their nursery, we decided to give them the gift of laughter. Here are 12 jokes about Jessica being pregnant:

In September, Bank of America announced it would soon begin charging customers a $5 monthly fee for using their debit cards, saying it was recouping losses from new laws that limited how much it could charge merchants when debit cards were swiped during transactions. But after a firestorm of negative publicity, BofA waved the white flag of surrender and scrapped the controversial plan.

While one would think Kim Kardashian’s speedy divorce from human prop Kris Humphries would provide stand-up comics with easy punchlines, comedian Rob Delaney is taking the news in an entirely different direction. In a column he writes for Vice Magazine, Delaney declared that he will be suing Kardashian and others for forcing a sham wedding on the American public.

The boys are back! It’s been quite some time since ‘Beavis and Butt-head’ went off the air in 1997, but, thankfully, they’ve returned with all-new idiocy and a desire to skewer recent pop cultural phenomenons. Let’s just say that copious suntanning isn’t the only way the  ‘Jersey Shore’ gang are getting burned.

Charlie Sheen will be taking his winning ways back to the small screen in a TV version of the 2003 Jack Nicholson/Adam Sandler movie ‘Anger Management.’

Regis Philbin has done some whacky things before, but nothing, as far as we recall, that resulted in him getting partially naked on national TV. Leave it to ‘Jersey Shore’ train-wreck Snooki for bringing out the wild man in The Reeg.

The members of Generation X are no longer the melancholy slackers they once thought to be, but are actually a well-balanced and happy group, according to a new report.

When it comes to the box office, the number one actor of all-time is none other than Samuel L. Jackson. And this isn’t just a guesstimate, it’s an actual record recognized by The Guinness Book of World Records. Jackson’s movies have made $7.2 billion.

A 1,818.5 pound pumpkin that currently holds the world record for the largest pumpkin is being carved into a macabre spectacle of flesh-hungry zombies.

This weekend’s new films star Justin Timberlake, Johnny Depp, and the voice of Antonio Banderas. In other words, you may find more than a few women lining up outside theaters come Friday night.

The backstage goings-on at ‘Saturday Night Live’ are legendary, and Darrell Hammond, who spent 14 years on the show performing impersonations of Bill Clinton and Donald Trump, is no stranger to them. His new book titled ‘God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked,’ details his years of drug use and other behavior some fans might be surprised to hear about.

Netflix, the one-time master of customer service, just can’t seem to get it right anymore. On Monday, the video rental giant revealed in its third quarter report that it has lost about 800,000 subscribers since June, and the company expects to lose more in the coming months.