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Insidious Side Effects Warnings

Getty Images/Justin Sullivan

Recently, I started taking a new prescription and being the conscientious person I am, I did my research. Ok, fine! My PA told me to do the research, but who’s really checking. Either way, I’ve found that side effect warnings are insidious. Once you’ve read all of the potential things a drug can do to you, you imagine all kinds of crazy things. What’s normal? What’s new? I never really noticed that before… Or was I just not paying attention? I wish you could hear the dialogue that has been happening in my head the past few days.  It’s been truly entertaining… Like when I lost my car in the Wal*Mart parking lot… Or when I wanted to b!t*h slap the chick at the dry cleaners who suggested I take a dress home and launder it myself… after all, if I had wanted to launder it myself, why would I have already have paid them to do it for me? DUH? With that being said, here a some of the side effects listed for the drug I just started taking. Clearly, I’m off my rocker. Thank goodness, anal leakage isn’t mentioned anywhere.

Numbness and tingling

Are my hands numb? Can I feel my toes? Maybe it’s just because our office is an ice box again… Damn! I forgot to bring a coat for the studio again. Maybe I can’t feel my toes because I have on three inch heels. Being a woman sucks.

Fatigue

I’m always tired, what’s new here?

Taste change

Not so sure on this one… Food still tastes pretty good!

Weight loss

Hell yeah! Let it melt off!

Difficulty with concentration/attention and difficulty with memory

Did I mention it took  me a second to find my car in the Wal*Mart parking lot earlier this week? Oh yeah, it’s been hard to come up with specific words,too. It’s like they’re on the tip of my tongue and won’t quite roll off. Almost like I’m on the air.

Warnings and Precautions

~may cause eye problems. Serious eye problems include: sudden decrease in vision with or without eye pain and redness; blockage of fluid in the eye causing increased pressure in the eye (secondary angle closure glaucoma). These eye problems can lead to permanent loss of vision if not treated. You should call your healthcare professional right away if you have any new eye symptoms.
For the record, I’m already blind… Like -6.0 in each eye.

 

~may cause decreased sweating and increased body temperature (fever). People, especially children, should be watched for signs of decreased sweating and fever, especially in hot temperatures. Some people may need to be hospitalized for this condition.

Thank goodness if this happens. I’m a face sweater. I’d love to be cool as a cucumber. Do people actually say that?!?!

~may cause suicidal thoughts or actions in a very small number of people, about 1 in 500. Pay attention to any changes and call your doctor right away if you have any of these symptoms, especially if they are new, worse, or worry you: thoughts about suicide or dying, attempts to commit suicide, new or worse depression, new or worse anxiety, feeling agitated or restless, panic attacks, trouble sleeping (insomnia), new or worse irritability, acting aggressive, being angry or violent, acting on dangerous impulses, an extreme increase in activity and talking (mania), or other unusual changes in behavior or mood.

I haven’t been suicidal, but I have been aggressive. Did I mention that I wanted to b!t*h slap the women at the dry cleaners? How about the women in the parking lot afterwards that was giving me the eye like I had knocked her car door with mine when I hadn’t??? Yeah, I gave her a look and she got in her car and left promptly. This may be an issue. I’m generally pretty happy go lucky. Or maybe I need to stand up for myself… YEAH! I have been rather giddy at times, too… And a smart ass. I kinda like being a smart ass. It flies in the face of being confused and it may piss off my husband, but it feels pretty good at the time!

~may affect how you think, and cause confusion, problems with concentration, attention, memory, or speech, depression or mood problems, tiredness, and sleepiness.

I think we’ve already covered this. Doctors… So freaking redundant. As far as speech problems, that’s pretty much self evident if you’ve ever listened to KFOX on a weekend. I’m a slurring, gasping wild woman. Thank goodness for cool edit, a fancy audio editing system.

~may cause high blood ammonia levels. High ammonia in the blood can affect your mental activities, slow your alertness, make you feel tired, or cause vomiting.

I think we’ve already covered this too… except for the vomiting. But I think I’d know if that had happened.

~can cause a drop in body temperature (hypothermia) to less than 95ºF, feeling tired, confusion or coma.

Yeah, we def covered this. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop being the shiny girl in the corner with blotting papers. The whole coma thing doesn’t sound fun but then again, I bet you’d get some good rest in.

 

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